Dreccas

I am breathless, listless, tired, unable to be repleted I have faced every challenge and I have been defeated I cannot continue without looking back Of all of my failures I cannot keep track Still I must, if I am to move forward I must let my life thus far act as a foreword I must see the mistakes and see what's gone wrong If I am to turn this dirge into a victory song I'll tally up my losses and count up my dead I'll defeat all the demons inside my own head Or else I'll fall again, and get back on my feet I will not stop until that final defeat And if that defeat takes me without a single win If I am to fall and not get back up again If i

The candle is snuffed the light has gone dim The flights have all fled taking whimsey and whim The bus has left, I stand in the rain Focused on numbness, wishing for pain Shouting your name until my throat goes hoarse But time's steady rudder is not shifted off course My face has gone pale, the color all fled My eyes have gone listless, on my feet I am dead I sway in the rain, but still keep my feet I rip out my hair, my loss is complete The beeping has ceased, your form has gone cold How could you leave me, alone to grow old

There is something inside that I cannot shake out Clawing ever deeper and flooding with doubt Promising this suffering will mean something All the while around my heart it is coiling Squeezing till I wanna drop and cry for days Subtle are it's delving claws I dismiss it always Thinking that I'm stronger than a little fear Thinking I'm so weak because I want you near When I finally allow the tears to come at last I reflect on my sorrow future present and past Wishing that the reason for it all was plain to see Unwilling to admit that the common factor is me It pierces me with probiscus I cannot feel Making it impossible to tell what is real

Floating running gasping for air Searching for what will never be there Lying to yourself until you buy it Never gonna know until you try it Calloused and empty you fight for your life Desperate and hungry your wade through the strife Gonna find a way don't you deny it Standing from the rooftops you can cry it Losing myself in the search for the answer Strutting through the streets like I'm a dancer I won't run out of steam until I find you I will shine so bright until I blind you Dreams of a future I cannot achieve No matter how much I might believe I will just remain right here behind you To this sinking ship I would never bind you

Lost alone and hungry for love Praying for something to come from above Wish I knew that my life would have worth Before I grow cold and return to the Earth Sharing my feelings with those who are near Hiding the truth from those who are dear It's harder sometimes to speak and be heard Than keeping it in, to not say a word Longing and losing and hiding from self Placing your heart in a box on the shelf Wishing you had the strength just to speak Fearing you'll always be worthless and weak Never could someone be pushed down so low As one who dwells willfully in houses of woe To find you the devil despair needs not seek But it's touch is much

Content to stay at home all day Basking in the light Gentle screen for work and play Keeps me up all night Another hour that feels so short Passes by in haste I haven't time for a retort As my seconds go to waste I don't quite know where did the time go I don't know what I do I think of all I think I might know And write some words for you Maybe I've lost the spark inside That kept me so aware Maybe part of me has died Or maybe it was never there So I sit with glossy eyes Staring at this screen Wondering when I might arise And what this life could mean

I can give unto others what they ask for in greed But can't give myself what I desperately need I try so damned hard to help make it real The feelings that you're too scared to feel But that does nothing for my head I'm lost, adrift, and filled with dread The past it fills my every thought With sorrows that are best forgot The future is no place of solace The days I see all lack in grace I can't control the way I think My hopes and dreams are left to sink At the bottom of this well Brick and mortar make my cell The flood of anxious ebbing tides The crushing dread my mind abides I wish that words I wrote were real That hope was something I

What is fate to those of us Who follow life's design A destiny that's not our own An intricate design I see no need to follow it I draw my destiny No threads of mine will be pulled from The fates dark tapestry I weave my own way through this life I make my own design And though it's simpler than the god's The pattern is all mine So when you speak of destiny I won't quite say it's fake But the fate that we all receive Is the one we make

There are many men who've said these words more eloquent than I   But it's getting late, I'm still awake, so I thought I'd have a try   All of us on planet Earth are trying to find our way   And yet without exception we will lose it all one day For every battle fought and won, each time that we prevail   We're left alone when our end comes as we pass beyond the veil   And none of us still shackled to our feeble mortal hosts   Can know for sure what happens then, perhaps we'll all be ghosts Maybe there's a heaven, there might even be a hell   Maybe there's nothing at all, we have no way to tell   That's why this life's important, that's why

The images we brand ourselves with are all quite absurd We like to act kind, we spew honeyed words To see one's self as a noble kind soul Just to fall into filth when we lose control Some of us however have realized that dream They've started to tug and pull at the seam They see the monster that all men can be And from that monster they've chosen not to flee No man can predict when the monster will appear Some may close their eyes and choose not to hear But those who listen to the monster they are Will see that the answers are not very far Those who ignore the beast having fun Will be unaware when the two are as one